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[unvirgin]

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[rocinantes]

i would have to drink a lot to do something like that.

a lot.

[unvirgin]

That doesn't sound like a never.

[rocinantes]

if you can get me drunk enough
maybe it'll happen

it's not a never

[unvirgin]

The real trick would be to see if yours truly can get drunk enough.

[ given how ridiculously high her alcohol tolerance is these days. and she'd need more in the way of liquid courage to even attempt it. ]

[rocinantes]

why wouldn't you be able to get drunk enough?

[unvirgin]

[ well, she might as well just come out and say it. ]

Because I might not be fully human anymore.

[rocinantes]

okay

so, what are you, then?

( he's known a few non human...ish people so he's not getting all worked up about this just yet. )

[unvirgin]

I was bit, before I got here. By a werewolf.

[ and apparently it took a little while for the side effects to kick in. ]

[rocinantes]

a werewolf?
really.
those aren't a bunch of fake shit for movies and tv?

[unvirgin]

Believe me, I used to think the same exact thing. And then I found out there's a reason all those legends and fairy tales exist.

[rocinantes]

so, how the hell does it work?

[unvirgin]

Basically? You get bit and then it... changes you. Every full moon, I have to put myself in a room that my friends have fortified and keep warded. I can usually recognize people even after the shift happens, but I'd rather not take the risk of hurting someone I care about.

[rocinantes]

how long are you like that for?

[unvirgin]

Until dawn.

Technically, I can change at any time, but full moons are kind of unavoidable.

[rocinantes]

you remember everything when you're back to yourself?

[unvirgin]

I used to not remember anything at all.

But now I remember everything. Even during. It's like the more often I do it, the more I'm able to hold onto the part of me that's still me. Does that make sense?

[rocinantes]

it does, yeah.

( maybe more than she knows. )

does it hurt when it happens?

[unvirgin]

[ she's come this far in talking about it, right? so there's no point in lying. ]

Every time.

The difference is I'm just used to it now.

[rocinantes]

and there's no way to cure it?
or make it easier?

[unvirgin]

The only cure I was able to find is pretty much impossible.

[ given that it involves killing the werewolf that bit her and said werewolf is back home and most likely destroyed anyway, along with the rest of her world. ]

But there's

I know someone's still searching for another cure.

Until then, sometimes I've been practicing even when there isn't a full moon out. It makes it a little less painful.

[rocinantes]

that's intense.

are you all right?

[unvirgin]

I think you probably understand why that might be a question with a complicated answer.

But... yeah. I'm okay. I've found ways to cope. To deal. So it isn't as much.

[rocinantes]

that's good.

not that i can do anything if it wasn't
but it's good you've got a way to deal

but yeah, i get why it's complicated
there's never an easy answer.

[unvirgin]

I've almost kind of resigned myself to the possibility that there might not ever be a cure in it for me. That this is what my life has to be now.

And there are definitely mixed feelings wrapped up in that.

[rocinantes]

guess it could be worse, though

you're alive