[ it'd already been a hard enough hit to lose kai, something she'd never actually pictured happening, even if living in the apocalypse teaches you not to get too attached to anything at all, but she doesn't want to imagine what losing dana might be like. returning back had been different, because her memories had distorted into a strange dreamlike haze, convincing her that there was a chance it had all been in her head. but being here now, the loss of her one friend hits her hard, reinforcing the sharp-cutting reality, and she knows if she were to lose dana too, it'd be too much to face.
for all that she's acted tough, pretended to stop feeling, she's never been strong enough to deal with loss. losing mack and lucy was hard enough. she didn't want to lose her friends here, too.
though she'd decided to accept the way things had changed between she and dana, the warm press of her body, the comfort of those steady hands, takes her back a little to a time in which she'd felt the world in these arms. it's different now, but — she still feels for her, still needs her, even in the way of a friend.
weeping softly, she finally lets tears go, ones in which she hasn't allowed to fall in years, not even when she'd felt the loss of lucy in her bones. when she cries now, it's not only for kai, but for everything that's shaken her that she's tried so hard to ignore. she nuzzles her face against dana's shoulder and selfishly mutters, ] Please don't ever disappear.
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for all that she's acted tough, pretended to stop feeling, she's never been strong enough to deal with loss. losing mack and lucy was hard enough. she didn't want to lose her friends here, too.
though she'd decided to accept the way things had changed between she and dana, the warm press of her body, the comfort of those steady hands, takes her back a little to a time in which she'd felt the world in these arms. it's different now, but — she still feels for her, still needs her, even in the way of a friend.
weeping softly, she finally lets tears go, ones in which she hasn't allowed to fall in years, not even when she'd felt the loss of lucy in her bones. when she cries now, it's not only for kai, but for everything that's shaken her that she's tried so hard to ignore. she nuzzles her face against dana's shoulder and selfishly mutters, ] Please don't ever disappear.